Gravity

I miss the ability to hop up off the floor in one-two-three. What is it about the aging body that makes it so difficult to resist gravity? I am convinced that I can feel every bone and organ in my body settle when I get out of bed in the morning and have to contend with another day of gravity.

My knees are not so great, so I have had difficulty getting up off the floor for quite a while. I remember a few years back when Ron and I stayed with a friend of ours who had a mattress on the floor in her guest room. When I woke in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I had to crawl to it and pull myself up on the doorknob. Sad, but true.

My dad, who is 84, told me that he went on a canoe trip this past week. He and his buddies pulled out to shore for lunch. After lunch, Dad, who was sitting on the ground, said to his buddies, “We can to this the easy way or we can do this the hard way.” His buddies reached their hands out to him and pulled him up (the easy way). He could have gotten up off the ground on his own if necessary, but it would have been some work. I identify!

In July, Ron and I attended one of the free Concerts in the Park in the series offered here. We had a great time, as ever, dancing to the delicious sounds of the band. The bandleader got everyone into it. At one point, during a song, he had everyone waving their hands in the air, then doing the twist, then he said, “OK, get down on the ground.” As the young folks around us hit the grass, Ron and I backed off to the edge of the dance floor laughing. A friend standing nearby asked us why we had fled the dance floor. “We can’t get up off the ground,” I explained. “No way we’re getting down there.” We actually could get off the ground if hard-pressed, but it would not be pretty.

I am not particularly out of shape. I walk a couple of miles every day, run on a treadmill three times a week, and lift weights daily. Even so, I have trouble getting up off the ground or the floor.

My dad and I had a conversation recently about those football players who take huge hits on the field and then just bounce up off the turf. Ah, youth! I do stand amazed at the hits that football players bounce up from so easily. One of those hits would lay me flat for weeks. And last Thursday night, watching the game, I had a good laugh when a commercial for the film “Gravity” played. At the end of the commercial, the narrator said, “Experience Gravity in a theater near you.” I don’t have to go to a theater to experience gravity. At the risk of embarrassing my readers, I can say that I am experiencing gravity right this minute. Even more hilarious than the closing line of the commercial, was the announcer’s comment when they returned us to the game. He said, “Tonight’s football game is brought to you by Gravity.” Seriously, tell those football players to mind the gravity, could wreak havoc. At least they’re young enough to deal with it and bounce up off the ground.